When Love Is Put to the Test

By Rev. Heidi L. Barham |  May 1, 2022

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Read John 21:15 – 19
 
In this passage of Scripture, Jesus asks His disciple, Simon Peter, three different times, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?”  And three different times, Peter responds, albeit with a growing sense of irritation and frustration, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”
 
In fact, by the time we get to the last time Peter responds, he goes so far as to say, “Lord, you know EVERYTHING, you know that I love you.”  In other words, “Why do you keep asking me the same question to which you already know the answer?” 
 
However, as we take a closer look at the text, we will find that Jesus repeated the question… not for His own benefit, but for Peter’s.
 
Some scholars suggest Jesus asked Peter the same question three times because Peter had previously denied Jesus three times… that it was a means of counterbalancing Peter’s denial of Jesus on the night He was arrested. 
 
Now, by asking Peter the same question again and again, it would seem to imply that the correct answer had not yet been given… But Peter still kept giving the same response, “Yes Lord, you know that I love you.”  After all, wasn’t that the right answer?  Well… sort of.
 
In the original Greek text, when Jesus asked Peter, do you love me the first two times, He used the word “agape” which is an unconditional love like that of a parent for a child. 
 
And WHEN LOVE IS PUT TO THE TEST, agape love… that unconditional love… says no matter what the circumstances may be, no matter what you have done or have forgotten to do… no matter how badly you may have messed up – I will always love you. 
 
The Amplified Bible defines agape love as reasoning, intentional, spiritual devotion, as one loves God the Father.  In other words, it is a very intense degree of love and devotion, like that indescribable love that we have for God, Himself.
 
Yet, when Peter responds that he does indeed love Jesus… he uses the word “phileo” which actually means a brotherly, affectionate, kind of love – love like you may have for a friend, a classmate or a colleague at work – love that will go only so far. 
 
WHEN LOVE IS PUT TO THE TEST, phileo love is the kind of love that will last only as long as we are working together and working on the same page toward the same goal… It is the kind of love that will be there as long as we are in agreement with one another… Love that will hold on as long as you don’t need me to move too far outside of my comfort zone.
 
So, as we reflect on the text… Jesus asks Peter the first time, “Do you love me [do you agape me] more than these?”  In other words, do you love ME unconditionally, more than you love the rest of the world?  And Peter says, “Yes Lord, you know I ‘phileo’ you.  You know that I love you with kindly, brotherly affection.”
 
The second time Jesus asks Peter, “Do you agape Me?”  Do you love Me unconditionally?  Never mind how you feel about the rest of the world – do you love… ME?
 
And once again Peter says, “Yes Lord, you know I phileo you.  You know that I love you with kindly, brotherly affection, old buddy, old pal of mine.”
 
Finally, the third time, Jesus simply asks, “Simon, son of John, do you phileo me – do you love me at least with a basic brotherly affection?”  And with a growing sense of exasperation, we can almost hear Peter say, “You know everything, and it still took you this long to finally figure it out?!  Yes, I love you with brotherly affection.”
 
Now, all the while that Jesus was questioning Peter, He was giving him a series of commands following each response.  Many people consider these commands to all be the same, but there are distinct differences between the three commands.  
 
Jesus’ first command to Peter is, “Feed My lambs.”  Next He tells him, “Tend My sheep.”  And lastly He says to Peter, “Feed My sheep.”
 
What accounts for the distinct, although subtle, differences in the commands that Jesus gives Peter?  Jesus is explaining to Peter that in order to show his true love for Jesus, Peter must follow the example that has been set for him. 
 
Jesus’ love is poured out on people across the whole continuum of life.  It doesn’t matter if one is young or old, rich or poor, black or white, male or female, Democrat or Republican – Jesus loves us all… and always will.
 
So, when we hear Jesus’ first command to Peter to, “Feed My lambs,”  Jesus is telling Peter, feed my little ones who are not yet able to take care of themselves… those who are new to the faith and need you to show them the way.  It is as if He is saying, meet the needs of the babies and toddlers who have not yet learned how to handle the affairs of day-to-day living. 
 
Feed My lambs.
 
And then after the second time He questions Peter, He tells him, “Tend My sheep.”
 
In various translations, this may read “take care of” my sheep or “shepherd” my sheep.  It is a command to be of service to a more mature group of people who do not need their basic care needs met as much as they are in need of guidance, direction and encouragement on their journey.
 
Take care of the young woman who has suddenly found herself becoming a widow and a single parent and is need of wise counsel. 
 
Tend to the man who has come seeking advice on how to find employment having been down-sized after a twenty-year career. 
 
Shepherd the couple who is trying to navigate through the muddy waters of infidelity while desperately trying to avoid divorce.  
 
Take care of, tend my sheep.
 
And Jesus’ final command to Peter, after the third question, is “Feed my sheep.” 
 
Take care of my elders who are no longer able to care for themselves.  Look after the elderly woman with dementia who no longer remembers the names of her children and no longer remembers to eat. 
 
Watch and pray at the bedside of the gentleman who has made peace with the fact that after 99½ years, the time has come for him to go home to be with the Lord. 
 
Feed my sheep.
 
Then after questioning Peter and giving him these commands, Jesus told Peter, “Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.”
 
According to the text, Jesus said this as an indication to Peter of how he would die and glorify God… then He told Peter to follow Him. In other words, Peter, your life is going to change… you may be able to come and go and do as you please for now, but the day will come when you will be led to a death that glorifies God… just as Jesus’ own death would do… so, now Peter, “Follow me…”
 
WHEN LOVE IS PUT TO THE TEST, we are called to follow Jesus even to the point of surrendering our life for the glory of God.
 
Now, looking back, Jesus asked Peter three times – “Do you love me?”   Each time He asked Peter the question, it was as if He was walking Peter through the various stages of life and love to see just how strong Peter’s feelings were.
 
How many of you remember that first crush when you were in elementary school or junior high school and you passed a note to your crush with one simple question on it “Do you love me?”
 
And it had little boxes next to the words, “Yes, no and maybe” and all that person had to do was check one of those boxes. 
 
Perhaps you even doodled their name on your notebook and drew little hearts around it.  But before too long, you found your attentions being turned elsewhere as you lost that spark.
 
As we mature, we move beyond that simple stage of puppy love and begin to experience a deeper, more relational kind of love – often with people we consider to be good friends rather than mere acquaintances or school girl or school boy crushes.  
 
We find ourselves saying “I love you” frequently, although with still relatively few strings attached.  Our level of commitment has advanced beyond that initial stage of puppy love but we still have quite a bit of wiggle room left before we have to worry about things becoming too serious.
 
But then things move to that next stage and we find true love and we discover what it means to have unconditional love for one another.
 
WHEN LOVE IS PUT TO THE TEST at this phase in our lives, we discover it is the “go-to-the-mat” kind of love… the “I’m willing to lay down my life for you” kind of love.  The kind of love that we ought to have for our spouses or significant others and our children. 
 
Now, let’s consider for a moment that our relationship with the Lord goes through a similar set of stages as well.
 
When we first meet the Lord and join the church, we are on fire, telling everybody how much we love Jesus.  We want to be in the building every time the doors of the church are opened.
 
But just like that puppy love stage, our attentions are quickly turned elsewhere.  We let the things of the world distract us and douse the flames that were initially burning hot. 
 
Then as time goes on, we may advance to a more relational kind of love.  We wear our WWJD bracelets and have our “I love Jesus” bumper stickers on our cars, but we are still not looking to make too serious of a commitment. 
 
We come and sit in the pews on Sunday but don’t ask us to join one of the ministries and please don’t expect us to go out there to do evangelism… 
 
Our love at this stage is more like a smoldering coal – but it is ready, willing and able to be fully ignited with just the right spark.
 
And when that spark is fanned into flame, we move to the stage where we have a deep abiding love for the Lord.  We know God more intimately, and love Him with a fire that burns intensely and passionately.  We are committed to serving God and we trust Him completely. 
 
It is at this stage that we begin to appreciate what the Apostle Paul says in Romans 8:38 – 39


For I am sure that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
 
We realize that because “God so loved the world, He gave His one and only Son, Jesus, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.” 
 
We understand that whosoever means that God’s love is there for us… whether we have allowed the distractions of the world to douse the flames of our love for Him… or it has become simply a smoldering coal… or it has burst into a roaring fire.  We can know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Lord loves us… unconditionally. 
 
But then just like He asked Peter, the Lord may ask us, “Do you love Me?”  And in those situations WHEN LOVE IS PUT TO THE TEST, if our answer is “Yes Lord, you know that I love you,” we will likely receive a call to action… because love is an action word.
 
Now, the last verse of our text, says that Jesus told these things to Peter to indicate the kind of death by which he would glorify God.  And then He told Peter, “Follow Me.”
 
Throughout the Gospels, we find Jesus saying, “Follow me.” 
 
In Matthew 4 (19) Jesus called Peter and Andrew saying, “Come follow me and I will make you fishers of men.”
 
In Mark 10 (21), Jesus told the rich young ruler to sell everything he owned and give the money to the poor and told him, Then come, follow me.”
 
In Luke 9 (23), Jesus told the disciples, Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.”
 
In John 10 (27), Jesus says, “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them and they follow me.” And in John 12 (26), He says, “Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be.”
 
But just what does it mean to follow Jesus?  Well, I am glad you asked. 
 
As any good reporter can tell you, the key to getting the whole story is to find out the 5 Ws – who, what, where, when, why – and also the “how.”  And we find the answers in Matthew 28:18 – 20 which is commonly referred to as the Great Commission:
 
And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, to the close of the age.”
 
Who is Jesus talking to?  In a word – us – His disciples.
 
Where is He telling us to go?  He said we are to go to all nations.
 
And, what are we supposed to do and how are we supposed to do it? 
We are to baptize the nations in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit and then teach them to obey everything Jesus has commanded.
 
When are we supposed to do this?  Jesus uses the imperative “GO” which implies a sense of urgency, so the simplest answer to that question is NOW. 
 
And why are we supposed to do all this?  Because Jesus has been given all authority in heaven and on earth and more importantly… and because He said so… that’s why.
 
When we look back at the text, Jesus’ commands to Peter are just as relevant to us today as they were for him back then. 
 
God is calling us to take care of His lambs and His sheep as a way to emulate the unconditional love He has for us. 
 
It is no coincidence that Jesus chose Peter and commanded him to tend to His flock.  You may recall that Peter was a hot-headed, fly from the seat of his pants, speak-first-ask-questions-later, kind of disciple.
 
It was Peter who told Jesus He would never wash his feet.  (John 13:8)
 
It was Peter who categorically vowed he would never turn away from Jesus even if it meant following Jesus in death.  And yet before the rooster could crow twice, it was Peter who denied Jesus three times.  (Matthew 26:34, Mark 14:30, Luke 22:61, John 13:38)
 
It was Peter who sliced off the ear of the servant of the high priest when they came to arrest Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane (John 18:10).
 
But it was also this same Peter… this brash and impulsive fisherman, who in spite of all his faults and shortcomings became the rock upon which Christ built His church and said the gates of hell would not prevail against it.  (Matthew 16:18)
 
It was this same Peter who became the recognized leader among Jesus’ disciples – one of the three who made up the inner circle – Peter, James and John.
 
It was this same Peter who became the great voice of the gospel following Jesus’ death and helped thousands of others find their way to Christ so they could receive the free gift of salvation.
 
Jesus used Peter so that those of us who came behind him would be able to understand that WHEN LOVE IS PUT TO THE TEST, God’s faithfulness will always outweigh our unfaithfulness… and God’s grace and mercy will always outweigh our faults and shortcoming.  Peter is proof positive that the Lord can and will use whoever He chooses… including each and every one of us.
 
The Lord has chosen us to follow Him, not because we are perfect, but simply because we are loved.  And He is calling us to share that same love with others.  He wants us to be shepherds of His flock… caring for them every step along the way… just as He cares for us.
 
And WHEN LOVE IS PUT TO THE TEST, we will find ourselves following Jesus and doing just as He has commanded… loving one another just as He has loved us.
 
It was unconditional love… that agape love... that led Jesus to the cross at Calvary to give His very life for us in what was the ultimate test of love.  In John 15, we read, “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.  You are my friends if you do what I command.”
 
Now, that’s love… and Jesus’ unconditional love, His agape love, for us is a love that will not let us go.  And if you desire to feel that kind of love today, won’t you stand and join in singing our Hymn of Discipleship: O Love that Wilt Not Let Me Go #540.

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