The Best Way to Love

By Rev. Heidi L. Barham |  May 5, 2024

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 Read John 15:9 – 17
 
This morning as we consider this passage from the Gospel of John, I want to invite us to think on the subject: THE BEST WAY TO LOVE.
 
Now, before we get started, I want to re-read the first few verses of the text as they are found in the Message Paraphrase:

I’ve loved you the way my Father has loved me. Make yourselves at home in my love. If you keep my commands, you’ll remain intimately at home in my love. That’s what I’ve done—kept my Father’s commands and made myself at home in his love.  I’ve told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature. This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love.

Simply put, we are to love like Jesus… who loves us like God loves Him… because when all is said and done… that truly is THE BEST WAY TO LOVE.
 
Jesus’ command is for us to love one another the way He has loved us… and lest anyone might be wondering just how Jesus has loved us… the answer is found in verse 13 of the text which tells us, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” 
 
So perhaps the next question we might ask ourselves is just how does Jesus define friend?  Well, according to verse 14 of the text, Jesus says, “You are my friends if you do what I command.”
 
Now some people might wonder if verse 14 is putting an unfair condition on Jesus’ friendship… after all, aren’t we supposed to do our best to be there for one another and love each other “unconditionally,” the way God loves us… in other words in THE BEST WAY TO LOVE. 
 
So why would Jesus put stipulations on His friendship?
 
The fact of the matter is that Jesus is not putting arbitrary strings on our relationship with Him – Jesus commands us to love as He has loved us and that opens the door to the gift of eternal life... so, when we do as Jesus commands it is so that we can truly be His friends to the end.
 
Now, just to put things into some perspective, I have a friend that I have known since nursery school.  After high school, she went away to college in Washington State, got married and moved to California.  And while we are not as close as we once were, when we were growing up, we spent a lot of time together. 
 
And one of the things I remember when we were really young was that she used to love to boss me around… she liked to tell me what to do.  And I did it (at least most of the time) because, back then, I thought that was what a friend was supposed to do. 
 
In hindsight; however, I realize that was not a good example of what real friendship is all about… and it was definitely not THE BEST WAY TO LOVE.
 
But when Jesus tells us what to do and we do what He commands… we find out what true friendship is all about… because that is when we can experience firsthand… THE BEST WAY TO LOVE.  
 
Now, when we think about friendships, having someone that we call our best friend is a habit we start to develop at a relatively early age.  Ask any child if they have a best friend and typically, they will say that they do. 
 
Although if you ask an adult that question… you are likely to get a variety of responses.   “I don’t have friends, I have acquaintances…” or “I have a lot of ‘good’ friends, but not what you would really call a ‘best’ friend…”
 
However, some might say, “People let me tell you about my best friend… He’s a warm-hearted person who’ll love me till the end…”
 
You may recognize those lyrics that come from the theme song of one my favorite shows when I was growing up – The Courtship of Eddie’s Father.  It was a show followed the relationship between a single (widowed) father, Tom Corbett, and his son, Eddie.  And as the theme song suggests, they were best friends.
 
Now, growing up I actually had a couple of people that I considered to be my “best” friends.  Back then, I did not feel bound by the constraint that there should only be one of something that you classified as being the BEST. 
 
However, the older I got, the more I realized that I really did have THE best friend anyone could ever ask for… and His name is Jesus!
 
Jesus is THE best friend to have because He has promised to never leave me nor forsake me… and that He will be with me, even to the end of the age. 
 
He’s THE best friend to have because I know that He will never gossip about me or talk about me behind my back.  He will be honest with me… telling it to me, just like it is.  Just ask the woman at the well or the woman caught in adultery… or perhaps you might ask Peter, James, and John about what happened when they were with Jesus at the garden of Gethsemane.
 
Jesus didn’t go around calling up the people of Samaria or put posts on Facebook and Instagram talking about the woman at the well who had previously had five husbands and was living with another man that she wasn’t married to… on the contrary, He offered her the gift of salvation through the living water that wells up into eternal life… THE BEST WAY TO LOVE (see John 4:1 – 26).
 
Jesus didn’t go on the View or the Talk or even the Today Show to call out the woman caught in adultery.  Instead, He caused all of her accusers to drop their stones and walk away – and then He spoke to her with kindness and compassion… THE BEST WAY TO LOVE (see John 8:1 – 11). 
 
And when His friends, Peter, James, and John fell asleep instead of watching and praying with Jesus at the garden of Gethsemane, He didn’t go back to the other disciples and say, “You won’t believe those lazy, worthless bums, all I asked them to do was stay awake for a little while and they couldn’t even do that…” 
 
No… He showed them grace and kept them right there beside Him, in spite of their flaws and shortcomings… THE BEST WAY TO LOVE.
 
You see, Jesus is the kind of friend who would and did sacrifice EVERYTHING for me and for you… Jesus was willing to give His very life for each one of us… which is without a doubt THE BEST WAY TO LOVE.
 
Now, you may be able to get me to donate an organ if I am the absolute last resort you have for finding a match… but ask me to die a slow, torturous death for you… I’m thinking, “Not so much.”
 
And, I would probably be willing to share the last few dollars in my wallet with you, but drain my bank account, sell my house and all my possessions for you… “Um, that would be a no…”
 
And although I could possibly be persuaded to stand up for you if I think that someone is trying to do you wrong, but go down to Hades to defeat death for you… “Yeah, that would be a hard no!”
 
If you need a friend who is willing to do all that and more… people let me tell you about my Best Friend… He’s a warm-hearted Savior who’ll love you to the end…
 
Now, there are some things that a really good friend will do that no one else can or will do.  They will cry when you hurt and rejoice when you are happy.  They will willingly take a back seat so that your light can shine.  They will go the extra mile of the way for you… no matter what. 
 
A good friend will tell you that the outfit you are wearing is looking kind of tattered and torn and encourage you to go buy another one to replace it. 
 
A best friend; however, will show you THE BEST WAY TO LOVE… making provision for ALL of your needs according to His riches in glory, whether it’s food, clothing, shelter, or anything else.
 
A good friend will tell you that they heard Miss Busybody over there talking about you behind your back. 
 
A best friend will show you THE BEST WAY TO LOVE… speaking into Miss Busybody’s spirit through the word of God so she will come to you so you can work out your differences the way Jesus commanded in Matthew 5 (23 – 24).
 
A good friend will tell you about the gift of eternal life that is available through Jesus Christ.  The absolute best friend of all; however, has shown us THE BEST WAY TO LOVE… by dying on a cross to ensure that we have eternal life.
 
Earthly friends are just that, earthly… and they are likely to disappoint us or let us down at some point in time.  But let me tell you about my Best Friend…
 
The Scriptures tell us that He will stick closer than any brother (or sister).
 
Generally, we pick and choose our friends, especially the one that we designate as our best friend.  But our text for the morning encourages us that we did not in fact choose Jesus, He chose us.  And it goes on to encourage us that we were chosen with a purpose in mind… to bear fruit.
 
And just what kind of fruit are we supposed to bear? 
 
Apples, peaches, pears, and plums?  Not exactly… we are called to bear the fruit of the Spirit - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Gal. 5:22-23, NRSVUE).
 
Verse 16 says that we are called to bear fruit that will last… fruit that will not spoil or rot.  But in order for us to bear that kind of fruit, we must stay connected to the Vine… because apart from Jesus who is the Vine, we can do nothing…
 
But here’s the good news… we never have to be apart from Him!  He has promised to be with us ALWAYS… there is nowhere that we can go where He is not… that means through the good times and the bad… Jesus will be right there with us… loving us through thick and thin… THE BEST WAY TO LOVE.
 
And that brings us to the last verse of the text, where we are reminded that at the end of the day… it all comes back to us being called to love one another.
 
Now, I want to call our attention back to another passage of scripture that also has a little something to say about love…  In fact, I referenced it in the sermon just last week… it is 1 Corinthians 13 (4 – 8) which is frequently referred to as the love chapter. 
 
It is there that we read:

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.

If we take a closer look at this passage, we just might see how the definition of love found here in 1 Corinthians 13, lines up with the fruit of the spirit as it is defined in Galatians 5.
 
Love is patient; love is kind – patience and kindness – fruit of the spirit.
 
Love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude – that would seem to suggest peace – fruit of the spirit.
 
Love is not irritable or resentful – in other words exhibiting gentleness – fruit of the spirit.
 
Love does not rejoice in wrongdoing –something that truly requires self-control – fruit of the spirit.
 
But rejoices in the truth – rejoices… an indication of joy – fruit of the spirit.
 
It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things – let me suggest that in order to do that one must have a certain generosity of heart… generosity – fruit of the spirit.
 
And most importantly, love never ends – signifying faithfulness – fruit of the spirit.
 
We are called to love one another and to bear fruit – fruit that will last – fruit of the Spirit that Jesus has planted in each of us – fruit that will identify us as belonging to Jesus, the Christ.
 
I remember when I was younger, adults would tell us that we are known by the company that we keep… it was a way of encouraging us not to hang out with the wrong crowd… to avoid being around folks who might be bad influences on us.
 
But I want to put a positive spin on that and encourage us to stay in the company of Jesus… to remain in His love… so that we will be known by the fruit of His Spirit… even as we make it our mission to love one another as He has loved us… which is after all… THE BEST WAY TO LOVE.
 
Hymn of Discipleship: More Love to Thee, O Christ (v. 1, 2, 4) #527.

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